Do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?

[flower]

This story.. came to me from my eldest daughter.

Thought i'd pass it on..

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption read

"This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself:

"How amazing am I ?! "

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What do you see?

Beauty.jpg

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[Going by]

I love the story.

The women in the picture reminds me of the women found in paintings in the middle age. Chubby was deemed beautiful (bits of fat is needed anyhow to breastfeed the children, this is nature)

[Dragonfly]

Thanks C?line - a precious story you've shared with us.
Once again it's all about conditioning. Human Beings squeeze themselves into tight and sinister drawers - metaphorically spoken - just to feel right and to get conform with artificial expectations.

Sometimes I must admit - I'm no exception and then I find myself in an inner, cruel fight.

I went to a birthday party yesterday, where I met the mother of a friend for the first time. She is a bit fat, having lost 20kg within the last three months, since she had gastric banding surgery.
She turns 67 now to my amazement, because she looks like 55 - no wrinkles, incredible vivid and warm eyes. Extremely pretty face.
She told me how much she was exposed to the ridiculousness of other people - even by her doctors. I could feel her pain. People can be so brutal.

A good lecture:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beauty_Myth
The beauty myth - a brilliant analysis by Naomi Wolf.

[flower]

It astounds me sometimes (and i speak in generalities ofcourse)...

The middle upper class... the more educated... and the seemingly more spiritual..


...are the first t judge others.


Instead of seeing the ugly.. why not try to live in beauty.

[Dragonfly]

It astounds me sometimes (and i speak in generalities ofcourse)...

The middle upper class... the more educated... and the seemingly more spiritual..


...are the first t judge others.


Instead of seeing the ugly.. why not try to live in beauty.

Very complex topic. On one hand it has to do something with concurrence amongst people. On the other hand we should consider that especially the middle class has always the hope to marry into the upper class. From a sociological perspective, this is just a logical step. Consequently to achieve that aim, you have to follow the contemporary conventions. Very generally spoken too.

And for judging other people: it's all about the feeling to be better than others. Very often compensation.

@C?line: why not setting up a poll - "would you like to be mermaid or a whale"?

[Dreamwalker]

from a male perspective..
when we are young we always seek the most attractive of the female.
we are conditioned by peers and friends.

the ugly girl in school always developed into the beutiful swan.
the one that was ignored,the quite one,ect
the popular girl..nearly always the bully and most outstanding in looks ect at that time,grew up to be the waster?

when we are young we see what friends want us too see,do we actually make up our own minds?
peer pressure.

when we grow older we see beyound the looks and look for similar personalities traits.
looks become unimportant,but the person herself.

but women will always remark on their weight,because of the conditioning of the media.
as long as you are happy and in love ,does it really matter what you look like?
who do want to please everyone else,or yourself.
once your happy with yourself,then that is all that matters.



p.s michaelanglo painted women as muscular and chubby people ,because he had never seen a naked women,and presumed that they had the same biuld as men.

although women see things in a different perspective.
why are you not comfortable with your looks?
why always ask for reassurance from your partners?
why always to please your partner with your looks?
why do look at the attractive girl in the crowd and see if your partner is looking at her and feel insecure?

there is a embedded insecurity that is holding you back from becoming what you truely are!

be who you are meant to be...

ugliness is in the person that judges as to what is beutiful.

we are all wonderful and unique people.

i would be a merman if i met the right mermaid,as for the smell,i,m pretty sure it would not become between us.....

[Dragonfly]

IMO the whole beauty conditioning is all about suppressing the feminine power. To keep us small. To be precise: If I'm talking about feminine power, I'm not excluding the men btw, but that's a different topic that would deserve an own thread.

[Going by]

A man way back told me:

We man, when we first marry we marry a beautiful but nevertheless motherly woman: we marry our mother

At the second marriage, we marry our daughter, young, beautiful and if possible, naive (stupid/blonde... etc)

At the third marriage we sometimes have learn something and then marry a woman for her womanhood.

I almost believed him at the time, but with hindsight, he was not at the third step yet, he was chasing like crazy still.

As for the whale or the mermaid, I am already a beautiful whale, so why worry about it?

[Dreamwalker]

and just who wants to give us insecure complexes,to say that this is right and that is wrong?
seven sins.jpgseven sins.jpg

[Dragonfly]

and just who wants to give us insecure complexes,to say that this is right and that is wrong?
seven sins.jpgseven sins.jpg

Yes Manny - WHO is it? Very important question. And hand in hand with that question: when did it start? From a soul perspective, from a cultural perspective, etc.?
I have just opinions, no answers....

[Dreamwalker]

if you look over my last posts ,i always ask the same question.
who are you..
i am hoping that this forum may give the the ptb to offer their opnions.
to answer questions as to who and why?
there must be someone watching ready to engage.

[HURRITT ENYETO]

I'm a cross between a Mermaid and a Whale, making me a......... Male!!
*come on, i couldn't just let that one walk by*


Hurritt

[flower]

Who defines beauty?

Is it here?




Or Maybe here?





I believe.. it is here..

heart_rate_monitor.jpg

[Jenci]

Nobody gets the big money/successes in the media, showbiz, music, celebrity, modelling industries unless they promote TPTB agendas. TPTB don't want us to wake up spiritually to what we actually are and they know that the more we identify with our bodies, the less chance there is of this happening. So everywhere we look they are pushing their agenda of body and looks. And it's everywhere!

Many people are literally driven nearly insane by their issues with weight, body image, looks and wrinkles and feel "ulgy" yet are constantly bombarded by images of "beautiful" on TV, newspapers, magazines, movies. The bombardment never stops because no matter how many people complain - you can't have success in these industries unless you promote "their" agenda. Notice how this agenda has targetted women in the past, now it is being aimed at men and children?

TPTB create the problem but also give us the solution,......... albeit a bit more subtle (as we know, they like to control the opposition as well). They tell us we must be beautiful (problem) so we end up feeling ugly, so they tell us that we must learn to see how beautiful we are (solution). Can you see the flaw here?

The solution is the same as the problem. We must either look or feel beautiful. There is no room for ulginess.

So people are striving to feel beautiful whether it's conforming to the promoted image of beauty physically or telling themselves they are beautiful as they are. The result, for many, is a cycle of going round in circles constantly seeking - wake up feeling ugly, affirm in the mirror ' the I am beautiful', walk out the door and see images of beauty, feel ugly, tell myself how beautiful I am - yes I have done all of this! Total identification with the body as "I am the body". Exactly what "they" want. Completely distracted.

But we are not bodies, we are eternal beings living in a human body for the time being. Out of all the species on this planet we get to be human and have an experience of, not just the senses of sight, hearing, tasting, touch and smell but thoughts and emotions. This is a gift yet most people spend their life wishing away their thoughts and emotions - they very thing which makes us human.

It's OK to feel beautiful but not OK to feel ulgy. I want to feel safe but not vulnerable. I want to be happy but not sad. I want to feel loved but not rejected. I want to feel energetic but not tired. I want to feel success, not failure etc. A lifetime of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.

All humans have to experience pain, ugliness, rejection, vulnerability, sadness, tiredness etc. It's called being human and cannot be avoided and yet we are told we either have to be beautiful or tell ourselves that we are beautiful and we cannot either look ugly or feel ugly.

When we wake up and learn that we are meant to feel all these feelings, directly in the moment, we learn that feelings always come and go and don't change what we really are.

So what happens if we allow ourselves to feel ulgy?
What happens when we allow the feeling to fully express itself ?
What happens when feeling "ulgy" exhausts itself? What do we feel then?
It's opposite ?

(If you have never felt a feeling directly without pushing it away, I can say from experience that it usually lasts for seconds/minutes rather than anything longer - it's not the monster that the mind makes it out to be. If you put all your attention on the feeling, attention is pure energy and energy moves things - putting a hand on where the feeling is can help to focus attention in with the precision of a laser beam)

So Celine, I am a mermaid and a whale. Sometimes I feel beautiful. Sometimes I feel ulgy. Neither feelings affect what I am.

Here's a great video of two enlightened teachers talking about feeling ugly and having fun with it. The first 4 minutes if you don't want to watch it all.
Jeanette

[flower]

Great post!

and an even greater answer.

I will come back to your video when i have more time but i just wanted to say thank you for your post.

I think we all feel...what you are saying.

[Dragonfly]

http://blogs.vancouversun.com/2012/0...ace-criticism/
Ashley Judd accused of being fat (how ridiculous) - her brilliant answer was hopefully a virtual slap in the faces of all supporters of that system. I quote her:
"That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient. Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate."

[alienHunter]

I've only been married once but after my divorce it finally dawned on me why I hated my ex so badly...she reminded me of my stepmother...Despite being painfully aware of the psychology of attraction I didn't see it...I'm still embarrassed as hell about it.

A man way back told me:

We man, when we first marry we marry a beautiful but nevertheless motherly woman: we marry our mother

At the second marriage, we marry our daughter, young, beautiful and if possible, naive (stupid/blonde... etc)

At the third marriage we sometimes have learn something and then marry a woman for her womanhood.

I almost believed him at the time, but with hindsight, he was not at the third step yet, he was chasing like crazy still.

As for the whale or the mermaid, I am already a beautiful whale, so why worry about it?