Heavy bullying, help needed please

[flower]

It states clearly in canadian federal law that bullying is illegal

IF this were to happen to adults. If this were to happen in a work place. If rhis were to happen in a public place.

The law would clearly step in.

Our children are NOT tiny adults. They are human.

If ANYONE made you affraid (or incapable) of working... what would you do Goingby?

Our children need to be treated as human beings.

[noxon]

we all get the best , and the worst , from eachother .

let me take a guess :

she was mainly bullied by other girls
(hence the subtlety of it)
- of course followed by the "tougher" guys ...

we have to accept this piece of our
human nature , somehow ..

The devine feminine (and masculine)
is paired with a profane one .

Experience is golden

..

[Charles]

I had to deal with bullying that was happening to my child at his public school. I handled it in several different ways hoping to put it on the curb. First I approached the principal of the school and informed him of what was going on and that I had instructed my son to defend himself at an cost. Secondly I went to the school and had my son identify who the these individuals were. Then I spent a good deal of time talking with this kids getting to know them. Most of the kids were recpetive and they ceased their bullying and befriended my son. There were a handful that did not stop. I talked with my son and very directly told him he had every right to defend himself and should have no fear of punishment from myself or the school. He was worried he would get into trouble and get suspended thus getting in trouble with me. I said no you wont get in trouble with me for defending yoursel and if you get suspended you can just do your school work at home and enjoy those days off. Eventually I pulled him out of school before he learned to be a bully. That is what the public educational system was teaching him indirectly by their lack of action and lack of proper supervision. They are more concerned with scoring high on federally mandated tests to aquire grants than they are focused on the kids and actually teaching them. The really need to add a Social Interaction and Respect class to all schools.

We live in a world where our children are immitating what they see in their environment and from the adults who surround them. Take a close look at the parents and you might see where this bullying comes from. Look at what these kids are exposed to on television, the internet, and their homes. Kids are not born bullys, they learn it. We look at one side of the coin when it is our kids are attacked in this manner. It is hard to do, but take a look at the other side of that coin too.

[ZookieMonster]

Lord Of The Flies.

Children left to themselves without adult guidance will arrange themselves as tribes and exhibit the extremes of human nature.

Bullying is a tribal tactic ... a play to be the king of the hill ... alpha beast paradigm. If bullying is present on school grounds, then there's an absence of adult guidance. Problem is thus identified. Solution? You must take a proactive stand and arrange a meeting of adults (parents and teachers) and demand that adult guidance be returned to all parts of the school ground. If you still do not receive satisfactory response from the adults ... then remove your child from that school.

In the days before the establishment of schools and the school system, adult guidance during what we now call school hours ... was administered at home by parents and/or adults from the neighborhood. Bullies were dealt with by corporal punishment. It wasn't the best system, but it limited the numbers of the perpetrator class, and by extension, the victim class.

Adult guidance <--------- The stuff the social engineers want to remove from parental hands and place in the hands of the state. The state does not have the child's best interests in mind, certainly not on par with the parents ... and as we have seen in popular culture, the state's agenda is to reintroduce tribal organization at the expense of familial organization. In tribal organization, children are numbers. In familial organization, they are names. When schools first started on the prairie, schools were small and children were names. Today, schools are large and children are numbers.

The bully paradigm is about numbers. The bully versus the bully's target ... and a whole playground of scared children caught in between. So they use their survival instincts and flatter the bully at the expense of the bullied. Piggy with the glasses in William Golding's novel, is just the most obvious frightened child ... but all the other children are frightened, too ... so they choose the tribe they think will protect them.

Humble opinions all around.



ps: Don't wait on this, GB. Be proactive. Demand adult guidance at school. You'll be rescuing not just your frightened child, but all frightened children caught between the bully and the bullied.

[noxon]

..
-

do not know why
but this thread made
me think of this :


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cM_9s...eature=related
( Manhood Initiation Ceremony ..).

- enjoy

..
-

[HURRITT ENYETO]

Also Going By, the Christmas present thing.......I was talking to one of my brothers about your situation (he is a Social Worker for youths with drug abuse) he said the responsibility for that lies squarely on the shoulders of her teacher. She should never have allowed such a situation of isolation to arise.

He also said after approaching the teachers/head master directly, if it continues you should pull her out of the school.


Hurritt

[Real Intent]

I am such a huge advocate of noninstitutionalized learning. For your daughter, you may find a tutor as a resource for her to use to help with communication skills, but other than that, I believe she really can learn on her own. I found a couple resources for you. Hope it helps

Testimoney from an Unschooler


http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=57505864188
An Unschooling facebook page for Quebec. Possibly a good resource for you to get in contact with others who would have more info and tools for you to use and network with.

A website dedicated to Homeschool/Unschooling in Montreal
http://www.montrealhomelearners.ca/content/about

FAQ on Unschooling
http://ulfaq.home.comcast.net/~ulfaq/ULfaq.html

[reaver]

Since the issue of schooling is something which can be deeply related to this case, I have a question for Going by:

Have you ever checked material by John Taylor Gatto?

[Going by]

Since the issue of schooling is something which can be deeply related to this case, I have a question for Going by:

Have you ever checked material by John Taylor Gatto?

no, i will do it now.

[Going by]

COLOR="#0000CD"]C?line:[/COLOR] It states clearly in canadian federal law that bullying is illegal

GB: Thanks C?line, I will use the law for sure if other venues are not available or closing up on us ? and it won?t take a year to decide. I have to see what could be done first at the school level

Noxon: she was mainly bullied by other girls
(hence the subtlety of it)
- of course followed by the "tougher" guys ...

we have to accept this piece of our
human nature , somehow ..

The devine feminine (and masculine)
is paired with a profane one .

Experience is golden

[COLOR="#FF0000"

GB: You got it right. However, experience is golden when you know how to transform it, which we/I will teach her. Otherwise it can be a dead end (I don?t like these words anymore, dead end).[/COLOR]

Charles: I had instructed my son to defend himself at an cost. Secondly I went to the school and had my son identify who the these individuals were. Then I spent a good deal of time talking with this kids getting to know them. Most of the kids were recpetive and they ceased their bullying and befriended my son.

GB: This I did: gave the permission to defend herself even is she look like a rotten bitch, with my full support. I intend to try speaking with the teenagers as well.

Charles: They are more concerned with scoring high on federally mandated tests to aquire grants than they are focused on the kids and actually teaching them.

GB: You see, this is where this school of hers differs. They are not concerned by scoring high for grants because they are special education school. As long as the students have the basics levels in French and Maths, to be litterate, they will mainly go to trade schools afterwards. Others that have less difficulties or are faster are put on the regular curriculum (like my daughter).

Charles: Take a close look at the parents and you might see where this bullying comes from. Look at what these kids are exposed to on television, the internet, and their homes. Kids are not born bullys, they learn it.

GB: Totally agree except for the 4% of psychopaths in society. They usually are the ones starting the game and others, the trained ones, follow.

Zookimonster: Bullying is a tribal tactic ... a play to be the king of the hill ... alpha beast paradigm. If bullying is present on school grounds, then there's an absence of adult guidance. Problem is thus identified. Solution? You must take a proactive stand and arrange a meeting of adults (parents and teachers) and demand that adult guidance be returned to all parts of the school ground. If you still do not receive satisfactory response from the adults ... then remove your child from that school.

In the days before the establishment of schools and the school system, adult guidance during what we now call school hours ... was administered at home by parents and/or adults from the neighborhood. Bullies were dealt with by corporal punishment. It wasn't the best system, but it limited the numbers of the perpetrator class, and by extension, the victim class.

Adult guidance <--------- The stuff the social engineers want to remove from parental hands and place in the hands of the state. The state does not have the child's best interests in mind, certainly not on par with the parents ... and as we have seen in popular culture, the state's agenda is to reintroduce tribal organization at the expense of familial organization. In tribal organization, children are numbers. In familial organization, they are names. When schools first started on the prairie, schools were small and children were names. Today, schools are large and children are numbers.

GB:Totally true also, you just made me see it deeper in terms of social norms or lack of it. Adult guidance is a must and this she has with me, her mother. Tribal formats are judge to be better when there is complete negligence at homes which is not the case in most homes, but it is what the excuse given by the government is base on to put all of our children in nameless environments.
I will explain in another post the whys I think this was not the case with my daughter up to now, in her earlier school environment.

Hurritt Enyeto: Also Going By, the Christmas present thing.......I was talking to one of my brothers about your situation (he is a Social Worker for youths with drug abuse) he said the responsibility for that lies squarely on the shoulders of her teacher. She should never have allowed such a situation of isolation to arise.

He also said after approaching the teachers/head master directly, if it continues you should pull her out of the school.

GB: Point very well taken. It will be clearly stated to the teacher (she was already feeling extremely bad that this happened and bought her a gift before the end of the day). Taking her out of school: of course i will not leave her where her development is truly hampered and her happiness gone. But please read my next post to better understand my dilemna and why I need to have ideas on how to deal with the school first.

Real Intent: am such a huge advocate of noninstitutionalized learning. For your daughter, you may find a tutor as a resource for her to use to help with communication skills, but other than that, I believe she really can learn on her own. I found a couple resources for you. Hope it helps

Testimony from an Unschooler

GB: Wow that video was great. I listened to it entirely. This would have been an ideal schooling for me when i was young (later it was, I never stopped learning).
I wish I were rich enough to remain at home with my daughter and do part of home schooling and good part of unschooling. At this point in her life and learning abilities, it would be feasible. I do not think she can do it entirely by herself yet if I am not present ? because of these learning disabilities. Please read my next post on it, you will understand better the whole dilemna.
I did check the websites and the facebook you suggested. I still remain open to find a solution in this direction if it does not work with the school. The problem is the cost if I can?t do it myself (my mom is too old).

Sandy: I would volunteer to do some group work with her class

GB: Do you speak French Sandy. If so, I will pay your plane ticket(s) and your time, not kidding at all. I you say yes, it is a deal done.
I am a proponent to work with the class and the school on this for many reasons, one being that it is what my daughter wants first. The other reasons are in the post that follows.

Ross: but standing up to bullies is achievable. I have seen it more than once, but it takes support and intervention from others.

I am not saying she must stay at school, I am saying you must stand up for yourself, with the help of others in support.

GB: That would be nice to be able to achieve this. Not only for social correctives, but also because she will meet bullies all over later on. Better learn how to deal with them now. Also, the school she is in if fundamentally good. See my next post.

Twincans: This wonderful young girl will need to know that she will be a lightning rod for all of this institutional infighting. Because when the dust settles, she will definitely be a different person. If she wants to be the change, ok bring it on. If she would rather get on with her life and growth, a strategic retreat might be the wise answer here.

GB: the strategic retreat will be taken if she is still more effected emotionally and spiritually and cannot come to term with it. Otherwise, I will fight for her first, then we will see.

Journey: I completely agree with what Celine had to say. My daughter is special too. She was constantly picked on by the kids in school. I had the same trouble you are having. I pulled her out and home schooled her for two years. I just put her back into public school only because she didn?t have any friends. This is her first high school year. She has done well. It took all the patience I could muster not to approach the ?little ones? myself. Go to the principal, go to the school board if you have to. If you can have her moved to a different class even that might help. I wish I knew where you were, or were closer to you. I?m sure Rose would love to make a new friend. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there. If you want my email pm me and I?ll be glad to send it to you.

GB: how old is Rose? They seem pretty much the same age. What does Rose has? We could put them in contact through chat, mine would surely be thrilled. I am in Montreal. As for the school, i will try everything possible first then we will see.

Manny: you and you daughter work together the teachers and build up a anti bulling campaingn.
that will be addressed to each class in the shcool.
why does a bully bully?
what makes them feel so good about it?
how does it affect them ?
the victims,how does bullying affect them?
is their a consilidation?
how many people disagree with bullying?

GB: My daughter already mentioned to me that there is her, but there must be other being bullied at school. She was thinking of finding them and doing something about it together. I told her it was a great idea. If she does, i support entirely and probably the school too. Thanks for the idea, you had it at the same time than her (this is telepathy Manny, i bet).

Magamud: Focus on her physicality rather then the logic part. This will help bring unconscious support emotionally and viscerally.
Attack the problem and forge a spear mentally for your child. On the polar flip, disengage. You get the balance and good luck...

GB: this is an excellent idea, with or without bullying. It would also complete her physical training that she had for years

Darla: Your daughter also needs to know that if she is in distress, she can arrange for some sign to signal the teacher when bullying is going taking place. If can be simple like a cough or waving her hand, hitting the desk to draw the teachers attention. And she needs the reassurance that her teacher will begin to pay much closer attention to all activities going on in her domain of control.

GB: Excellent idea. Really good, I will make sure it is done right at the beginning of January.

Darla: When I hear about a small group of individuals who is harassing and making another person miserable on a daily basis, it makes me want to make enough waves within the school structure to force some kind of re-training effort for both those bullies involved, as well as the school personnel to learn how to deal with these serious issues.

GB: this is exactly what you are all helping me to do. Make waves and have the situation change for the good of all.

Darla: Each person who has made comments has contributed some excellent ideas for possible alternatives.

GB: Entirely true and I appreciate greatly.

Darla: I volunteered to help out at the school for a few hours a week making copies and running errands around my kids classrooms.

GB: another good idea. I will see how it could be worked out. I have for a year of work implemented your suggestions from all of you. Many thanks
.

Darla: I might be able to save you some real wear and tear

GB: let me start the interactions with the school after the 9th of January and I may call on you and Sandy and all of you again.

Slim 11: from my experience, going directly to the other parent has had positive results. possibly you and your daughter sit down with the other parent and kid??

GB: Thank you for your support Slim. Zarema was bullied when in first grade, I met one parent and it went like a nightmare, worst thing ever. The other parents was the total opposite, immediate intervention with her daughter. So we will see. At that time I changed her of school, from Steiner Waldorf to the special school primary grades.

Reaver: Kick them in the balls/pussy (I'm only half-joking here, some idiots need to feel a bit a fear and pain). If it comes down to some condition - be it the condition of your daughter or anything else - and if they point it out, proceeding like this can be quite funny and effective: "Took you long enough to realize it

GB: my daughter will love you. Even if she does not do it (she is soft), it will give her the courage to face the music if she read/chat with you. She will love your thinking, I know her. You will make her laugh and relax about the whole thing, which would already be quite a lot.

Twincans: I belong to abt 8 yahoo groups for local homeschooling communities plus a teaching co-op. Or if that's too much while you work, you could supplement with online high school using the same material she is currently using. They're totally equivalent to day schools and offer credits for the full diploma, so students can apply to universities or colleges etc. Free too. I don't know if you could take the Ontario one my dd is in, or have to enrol in a Quebec one. It would be busy enough to keep your daughter occupied while you work, no problem there.

GB: I will definitely check into this, thank Twincans, if the actual school interventions to be (i will try my best) do not work. Thanks

Ross: Not nice, but this is how system works. There is always some kind of framework, hierarchy, and you can count on anybody in it looking for "quick fix". Use that to your advantage - but always demand concrete actions. Not do "something', because that means "take the unpleasant thing and hide it". Learn what would be very unpleasant for those you are talking with - and threaten to use it

GB: negative reinforcement Ross, of course it would work and will be try if positive does not work. Thanks

Thanks you all for the wonderful support and help. I am starting to draw the strategies in my mind and I see clearer no doubt.

[Going by]

OK, here are the reasons why I am hesitant to take her out of her school.

The school provides specialized a follow-up for profoundly dyslexics mainly, and some dysphasics (which is partial aphasia) and other neurological ailments. They were 12 per class in primary, 16 in high school.

All teachesr are special ed masters degrees. The class have one main teacher plus another special ed coming in to help 2-3 hours per day. They also regroup in small groups the students based on their deficiencies or inabilities, for French lessons and math lessons mainly. For French, a speech therapist is present for my daughter’s subgroup. Sometimes other specialists will be there as well on a need basis.

This is sooo good for dysphasic you would not believe. Children with neurological ailments come with multiple problems. Mine had, just read below. The school is all organized and very efficient with dysphasics yet, most school boards won’t send the dysphasics to that school, saying that they can handle the cases locally, which they can’t (the real reason is the grants the school board receives for dysphasia, which is high and they lose it to the school when kids are transferred).

Mine was lucky to get in (of course thanks to mom begging at the special school and manipulating the school board decision makers – using the law by the way). Dysphasic children in other school do not finish their primary school, get out without being able to read or count most of the time.

One of the reason she is a target is that she has more difficulties to use language fast than a dyslexic (which impairment is only in writing and reading). She had to learn language entirely, this was not natural for her as it is for homo sapiens. And she had no frame of reference to learn, as someone would have with a mother tongue. She literally was learning to speak Alien, as far as she is concerned.

Another reason for the bullying is that she is the youngest, she succeeds, and is not ugly at all, she has a style. She was the only new kid on the block in that class last year and the integration was not well organized. Their way of bullying is mainly through nasty fast comments to which she can’t respond and exclusion

Now, in life, she is getting to be so good that she now speaks (a lot with me), compose her own songs, write her music, play piano and now is learning the bass. This is why i was so proud to share one of her song with all of you. This is practically a miracle, I did not expect that much.

This is why this treatment by her peers hurts so much. She worked soooo dam hard in her young life to achieve what she did up to now. She is extremely persistent, this will help her in this situation.

Since i am opening up asking for help, and that you are all innimaginably helpful (believe me, it is more than appreciated, I would all invite you for a party to thank you), I may as well open entirely and tell you the whole story. You may then better understand my dilemna.

[Going by]

If you are interested, here the rest of the story

This is what I wrote to Slim 11 when she asked me a question about my daughter and the use of NLP.
?Well, you can imagine how difficult it was to confront the reality of her disabilities. I had the dysphasia diagnosis when she was four. I also learned that server dysphasia meant that she probably would not finish her primary school. So I started interventions right away.

1. I got help (after making a fit in front of 125 people in the children hospital auditorium to have treatments) from the hospital, giving her training for kindergarden, then some physiotherapy for gross motor skills impairment ? training that was stopped when she reach the lowest range for normalcy, which is low - and then some audiophonist testing, etc.

2. The hospital referred me to the death and mute institute where there is a section for dysphasia. She was treated there for a while with a speech therapist and a physiotherapist there as well.

3. Got speech therapy on our own as well to supplement for the reduced hours given in the public medical sector (it is free in Canada, once you get in after a fit in an auditorium).

4. I sent her to the Steiner schools, hoping she would make it there, but it did not work.

5. When she got fed up with physiotherapy, I started to have her do sport in a very heavy way (I am convinced that the brain can change and that neuronal pathways can form that will improve the inabilities of peoples, as long as training is intensive).

She was figure skating (it took her a full year to only slide on the ice, then after she started turning, etc, never got very good at it, but got some equilibrium from it), skiing, swimming, dancing, all in the same week ends ? she would get livid on Monday mornings ? I have a funny story about this, her teacher accused her father to mistreat her because she was livid on Monday mornings. When she told me this, I felt very guilty because it was me having my daughter do almost too much. But hey, it worked, she has no more motor problems.

All those lessons were private because she could not physically follow groups. It took few years before she could.

6. Got her into a private school for profoundly dyslexic and for dysphasic children as well as other neurological impairments having an impact on learning. There she was followed all her primary school with occupational therapists, as well as teacher specializing in learning disabilities, psychologists to help, etc.

None of her teachers were regular teachers, they were all specialists. The class had 12 children all with learning problems. They were regrouped in subgroups for their specific problems, having 3-4 hours of speech therapy per week in a small group for mine.

She was also on a math group cause dysphasic cannot follow more than 2 consecutive instructions and therefore cannot do maths. She finished her primary school and is now in high school, second grade with As, Bs, and Cs all around. I am quite proud of her.

7. I used NLP with her for her homework (visual approaches, auditory ones and kinesthesic ones), mostly in primary school, so that the learning would have many sensory entrance doors. (I learned NLP earlier on when younger). I had a big blackboard at home and we would make the homework sitting, then standing, then she would write on the blackboard for visual and kinesthesic input, and I would use all of these as well.

I also used NLP to recuperate the negative beliefs she was building up about herself, as those occurred ? ex: she arrived at home telling me she was stupid, we would have a little NLP session, her not knowing why I was doing what I was doing. I am an NLP practitioner, so this part was homemade.

8. I hired tutors to help her when she started to tell me that I was a good mom, she liked being with me except for the homeworks because I would then transform into a witch. I understood that if I wanted our relationship to remain good, I had to delegate some work to others that were not as involved emotionally in her success.

9. She still could not follow more than two instructions at a given time, so I took her to Dolphin therapy in Florida with a speech therapy. To my amazement, it worked, it was the first time she could give me more than two instructions at a time, or follow more than two.

She had to teach me how to speak to the dolphin after the two weeks therapy. That was awesome from all side: she could progress, she had a real great time with her new friend Daphne the dolphin, got very attached to her and I had a great time (a true encounter with a dolphin feels like encounter of the third kind, close encounter with an intelligent, emotion filled, alien specie).

We did the dolphin for 3 years, until the Gulf of Mexico got full of oil, i did not want to put toxic fume in my daughter afterward.

---------- Post added at 00:35 ---------- Previous post was at 00:31 ----------

10. I had her follow singing lessons since she was 8 because I had noticed that she was speaking better and learning language better when it was rhythmically based.

She has been taking the lessons since and it developed into an real passion, she sings quite well, is very passionate about it. Two years ago, she wanted to have piano lessons, which I paid and she is now writing her own songs, composing her music and singing her own songs. Truly a miracle when we know how far she started from. Although she still has difficulties with the language, it makes her write very original songs with lots of emotions. Real nice.

11. I finally also had her scrutinized by a Dr in biochemistry, specializing in autism, to see what could be wrong, or enhanced, with her body. We discovered, through private and costly blood testing, that she was allergic to gluten. So we got a gluten free diet at home, both of us.

We also got rid of milk because there is an ingredient in it that has the same impact than morphine on the brain.

She was lacking many vitamins and minerals in her blood because of the gluten allergie, the intestinal track got very unhealthy and could not absorb nutrients anymore. She has been on the diet for about 3 years now and she has no more ADD, gone. Her dysphasia did not come back completely but she is much better as well.

12. She went to a hyperbaric chamber for high pressure oxygen sessions last year in the hope that dysphasia would improved.
Well it did not but her motor skills got better following her dance teacher and my daughter tells me that she understands her maths much better and faster and that it is due to the hyperbaric sessions.

Slim, everytime I would start something new with her, I would only look for 5% improvements. No more. 5%. If it was there, I would pursue the approach. I was telling myself that from 5% to 5% it may finally make 50% at the end of the voyage.

The truth, i would say we are near the 70% total improvement altogether. Lots of patience was required from me, and mostly from my daughter. This little girl worked soooooo dam hard, it is just unbelievable. She is now very discipline and hard worker, which helps her in school and for her music.

She always cooperated because she wanted soooo much to be like the others and to have friends. She did not want to look stupid or have no opportunities.

On my side, I took the oath of being always truthful to her, never lie, never hide, just truthful, of course with taking care of her self esteem at the same time (the dolphin were incredible for this, she did something no other child usually do, dysphasia has a plus side).

She was always explained, in her own vocabulary, why she was doing what she was doing, what was my thinking about it and how it would proceed and what it would do if successful.

I would always ask for her cooperation but she was always free to refuse.

Biochemistry started late because of the money involved and also because she did not want to do it at first.

On my side, I looked at ways of making money in order to pay for all this. My thinking: not ? i can ?t afford this treatment? but rather ?how much do I have to make this year to afford treatments and find ways to make it?. I worked easily 60 hours a week over and above taking care of her and the house.

I am truly happy she is doing better because I would have had difficulties to keep it going for another 10 years.


So as you all see, your help is very much appreciated, my energy is running down. Having your help instead of me doing all the research alone is tremendously different. I do not know how to thank all of you guys/girls

And the wallet is thinner too, it will be freedom 75 for retirement lol

[VajraYaya]

Hi Going..

I don't have kids myself and really do not have anything to offer you that is much different than what so many others have said so well here. But I do have a question.

This is why i was so proud to share one of her song with all of you.

Where is that song? I'd like to hear it.

Tell your daughter she has friends here. At least as much 'friends' as online people can be.

[reaver]

You see, this is where this school of hers differs. They are not concerned by scoring high for grants because they are special education school. As long as the students have the basics levels in French and Maths, to be litterate, they will mainly go to trade schools afterwards. Others that have less difficulties or are faster are put on the regular curriculum (like my daughter).

Now I would ask where the school programs come from... who are those who develop them? who do they work for?. You see, some damaging ideas, programs, etc. come disguised as altruistic actions, psychopaths in power are damn good at camouflaging their necrotic agendas. Something else to remember is that the last thing those assholes in power want is for people to be intelligent and I mean any kind of people. You'd also have to consider the possibility of your daughter's school programms seeking to compartmentalize her, that means breaking her being into easily manageable parts... in the sense that the cultural monster is able to control her in very subtle, yet poisonous ways. Ask yourself this: are the shool programs trying to help your daughter to improve as a HUMAN BEING or are they seeking to help her adapt to a toxic environment/system?

Totally agree except for the 4% of psychopaths in society. They usually are the ones starting the game and others, the trained ones, follow.

This is very important and something to consider, you could very well be dealing with some psychopaths, maybe they are within your daughter's classmates and/or teachers, heck some parents may be psychos. Proceed with caution and vigilance on this one

She was thinking of finding them and doing something about it together. I told her it was a great idea. If she does, i support entirely and probably the school too. Thanks for the idea, you had it at the same time than her (this is telepathy Manny, i bet).

Healthy collective action, go for it. I'd say let them talk their specific situation amongst them so that they can learn by themselves while at the same time providing them with resources to build immunity towards bullies.

You now, thinking about it, I feel that teenage years are very precious, in the sense that there seems to be a natural and healthy rebellion taking place within them, you know they don't want to take sh!t from anybody and they also want their privacy and to distance themselves from their parents to a lesser or greater degree... sadly we live in idiotic societies who are sh!t scared of any signs of true rebellion, so they have to come with stupid razionalizations to crush those rebellions. The most common scapegoat I can think of right now is this one:

HORMONES, oh yeah blame the damn hormones and then you've got parents, teachers and tutors policing the teens. Treating them as if they were some sort of cancer, oh and they come up with a lot of stupid sh!t: ground them, medicate them, send them to the psychiatrist or psychologist, make them part of a toxic collective, force them in line, and so goes on a damn huge list.

I'd say what they need is intelligent guidance, not some fu cking mini versions of Big Brother monitoring every single little thing they do or think. A healthy guidance so that their rebellious spirit grows in a healthy way, a creative spirit, an intelligent spirit, a transformative spirit, a caring spirit. Yes that guidance is needed in this world, if they were to be left to fend themselves off, there is a great risk of that spirit being corrupted to the point where they will want to join some pseudo anarchist group and break some windows. Policing only creates mindless and submisive drones who will seek to adapt and obey the cancerous cultural roles the system demands.

So Going by, while your daughter goes trough her teen years, do not let that rebellious flame die out.

[Going by]

Here Vajra, one of her song: http://nexus.2012info.ca/forum/showt...=daughter+song

She wrote it for a friend of mine who had cancer.

Your support is more than enough, Vajra, thank you.

Reaver, as she herself told me, "how do you want me to follow others, I have you as a mother" I laughed, we were talking of true inner connection spirituality like (not the mushy stuff Reaver). she can argue with me or against me, she can withdraw too, she can be herself. Except that she had major problems with her body that had to be worked on - call it karma or what you want, but on this I really did more than guiding, i took the lead. Now it is her turn. She now asks herself what she thinks is good for her, I only propose.
I really appreciate your comment, it very often make me think further, deeper. thank you

[VajraYaya]

HORMONES, oh yeah blame the damn hormones and then you've got parents, teachers and tutors policing the teens. Treating them as if they were some sort of cancer, oh and they come up with a lot of stupid sh!t: ground them, medicate them, send them to the psychiatrist or psychologist, make them part of a toxic collective, force them in line, and so goes on a damn huge list.

I'd say what they need is intelligent guidance, not some fu cking mini versions of Big Brother monitoring every single little thing they do or think. A healthy guidance so that their rebellious spirit grows in a healthy way, a creative spirit, an intelligent spirit, a transformative spirit, a caring spirit. Yes that guidance is needed in this world, if they were to be left to fend themselves off, there is a great risk of that spirit being corrupted to the point where they will want to join some pseudo anarchist group and break some windows. Policing only creates mindless and submisive drones who will seek to adapt and obey the cancerous cultural roles the system demands.

So Going by, while your daughter goes trough her teen years, do not let that rebellious flame die out.

Excellent Reaver! Very nicely put.

[Going by]

Since the issue of schooling is something which can be deeply related to this case, I have a question for Going by:

Have you ever checked material by John Taylor Gatto?

fascinating, this could be a thread in itself on education

[reaver]

Since there is something physical in all of this too which has strong roots, I'd recommend checking out Chi Kung: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qigong or Tai Chi: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T%27ai_chi_ch%27uan... or a combination of both, to build your own system is crucial, whether that is on a physical, mental or spiritual level.

Something I have to recognize and admire, is the vast knowledge of the human body that the chinese arts provide. Chi Kung and Tai Chi are excellent to keep the body healthy, have a better coordination with your body, they are great for healing, great for building physical and mental strenght. Now of course, your daughter would have to be interested by those.

Oh and something vital is that the true teacher of either of these bodily arts understands the importance of having contact with your body, the importance of feeling it and they also understand that the learning process is gradual and that there is no pressure to catch up to others, building up your own rythm is vital pillar when it comes to Chi Kung/Tai Chi.

[VajraYaya]

fascinating, this could be a thread in itself on education

Sorry, can't figure out how to quite the whole message.

I agree with Reaver. I highly recommend Gatto's "The Underground History of American Education" I uploaded it here - http://nexus.2012info.ca/forum/downl...?do=file&id=35

Have a look.

[Going by]

Sorry, can't figure out how to quite the whole message.

I agree with Reaver. I highly recommend Gatto's "The Underground History of American Education" I uploaded it here - http://nexus.2012info.ca/forum/downl...?do=file&id=35

Have a look.

i meant Gatto is fascinating.. we could have a thread on education starting with Gatto's views

[Jenci]

Hi GB,

I think your daughter is very lucky to have a Mum who is so willing to go that extra mile to make the difference in her life. I'm guessing you are both going to learn and grow through this experience and I don't think she is missing out on an older sibling - I think you have exactly everything you need.

The support and suggestions you have had both here and at Avalon has been amazing. I'm sure we are all looking forward to seeing how this situation progresses and I am guessing that you bringing up this topic will help other families in the long term.

Please do open a thread on education - I need some educating!
Jeanette

[Going by]

To let you know the progress of interventions almost live:

1. I sent most of what you all gave me, ideas for the school interventions, impact on everyone, etc. as well as a long descriptive of what is happening to the two main teachers and the school principal and her assistant. The school principal called me back today.

2. She had received an anonymous e-mail as well, for probably from a parent (from the way it was written) saying that a student in second grade high school was bullied and it gave my daughter's name.

3. They insured me that bullying would not be tolerated at all and that immediate action would be taken to correct the situation.

4. My daughter will meet the principal tomorrow morning (she is starting school again tomorrow). The principal told me it was to convince her that interventions would give results and were necessary. She is right bercause my daughter does not stop telling me that nothing can be done.

5. Intervention in the class starting with the main bulliers will be made, one by one, as the priincipal told me "to make sure your daughter goes home feeling good and them feeling bad for a few days". Then there will be something with the whole class to which my daughter won't assist (to my demand), activity which remains to be determine.

6. If nothing works, we will see what can be done.

Many many thanks to all of you. Not only did I feel supported but you were instrumental in giving lots of ideas to the school.

I will keep you all posted on the results, as they happen, and ask for help again if need. Thanks again

[flower]

second grade high school

To be clear this means grade 8.


Good to see there is positive movement Going by

[Going by]

To be clear this means grade 8.


Good to see there is positive movement Going by

No, it means grade 9. She jumped grade 7.

[flower]

tu a dit deuxieme annee de secondaire....

la premier annee c'est 7'ieme ...