Your Children Are Not Your Children

[reaver]

So let me get this straight: She should lay off when you are tired, but when she's tired you allow her to tell you so, only to dismiss her entirely? notice that you wrote: "... and I do not agree with her"

Nevermind what I wrote there, I had to read it several times to get the meaning of it.

[Going by]

No problems Reaver, the basic misunderstanding came from my own writing - I myself had to reread myself and still got confused.

I do tell my daughter once in a while: "don't push it tonight, I am too tired" she does lay off me and she is allowed to tell me the same when she is tired and I do not agree with her.

What I meant was: When she is insisting or "working on me" as teenagers can do, and I am tired, therefore more susceptible to averse reaction, I just tell her to lay off me for a while cause I am real tired, and she respects it usually, to come back at a later point with her demands, reproachs, whatever was happening at that point.

On the other hand, if I am the one not agreeing with her, wanting to reproach or demand something, and she is the one being tired or overwhelmed by an emotion or anything making it more difficult for her at that time, she can tell me to lay off for a while until she feels better and can handle whatever I wanted to communicate at that moment. (the I disagree with her after the sentence was what was confusing I think).

I still think all that or jerky knee reactions when we have enough has nothing to do with being the opposite of hearted guides. It is just allowing one to be human.

---------- Post added at 12:37 ---------- Previous post was at 12:33 ----------

May I add that when there is real deep love, not will, but love, with full respect for the other's being, , there is no tyrant behavior possible. (of course mushy love however is extremely tyranic, but it is a skewed broken way of loving).